Friday, October 24, 2008

Kevin Quain and the Mad Bastards


Kevin Quain and the Mad Bastards
The Cameron House, Toronto
August 31, 2008
by Live Music Head


'Sunday nights in the opulent fin-de-siecle splendour of Toronto's Cameron House Front Lounge, Kevin Quain and his band, the Mad Bastards, splatter the walls with songs about restless corpses, wistful vampires, punchdrunk sailors, 
singing bank robbers, and barroom romances.
Led by singer, songwriter and squeezebox slinger Kevin Quain, and armed with an accordion, doghouse bass, trumpet, a couple of Spanish guitars and a musical saw, the Mad Bastards spin surreal musical tall tales in a fury of sturm, drang and dramatic lighting, furiously smashing and reconstructing musical genres without reck, ruth or relent. Like a chance meeting of Kurt Weill and Hank Williams at a drunken pawnshop heist, this is late twentieth-century garage jazz cabaret unlike anything you've seen or heard before.....'
~ www.kevinquain.com


"I hereby declare
this The Year of the Bastard"
is what Kevin Quain wrote in his email alert.
Season 13 is about to begin in the front room
of the public house on the northwest corner of Queen Street West;
The Cameron Public House.
The familiar piano intro has a little Over the Rainbow teaser
as the band begins Episode 1, Act 1
on the very first night of their Sunday night slot for 2008.
Leaving the piano bench, Kevin picks up the banjo
to head Uptown Downtown (Everybody Dead).
And Bryden Baird trumpets.
Dean Drouillard is on a guitar, otherwise known as a twang box,
and the newest Bastard, Miranda Mulholland is on violin.
Adam Warner is on a single drum,
while Wes Neal holds the upright bass.
The second song of the night is Let's Get Loaded from the first cd...
"When I told you I loved you
I was drunk,
but I meant it anyway."

and Baird is now a flugelhorn.
Leaning on the door jam,
I find a square of floor space near the front entrance,
and with great lighting and an ever-revolving display
of artwork gracing the walls
"This is paradise."
Above, a beautifully painted ceiling
of angels and lovers on a horse.
Unlike the beer-drinking crowd of the Cameron Saturday matinee,
to me this is music to sip red wine by,
or a tall dry martini with a stuffed green olive.
However, I do spot the odd label of Labatt's 50.
And for the folks sitting on the low couch in front of me,
it’s crantini in a pitcher with floating fruit.
The band has had a long-time all-black dress code,
and Kevin has his black derbie hat on.
But the code seems to be broken,
with Miranda appearing in a red evening dress
under her violin bow.
There's no Gene Hardy on saxophone tonight,
but Kevin plays guitar to Catch You in the Rye.
Baird picked up the accordion,
and Dean played a crunchy guitar on Coffee Dogs,
another Kevin Quain original,
then followed it with a song of sassy broken love...
"If you don't come back to me now,
I'm gonna hold my breath.
I'm gonna drink bourbon for breakfast,
I'm gonna wear chicken bones around my neck."

Kevin is only one of two people I know
who still carries a hanky to wipe his brow.
With shirt sleeves rolled to the elbow,
he stuffs it back in his vest pocket
moving to the piano...
“I have a new record from 2000", Kevin announces,
if you’d like to revisit musicals from the past”.
Wes does another bass solo
as Kevin pulls out the musical saw.
You can hear a pin drop to
"meet me here at midnight for a vampire matinee".
Side-stage, a girl rises from her seat,
and Kevin Quain's other half comes strolling toward me.
Stunning in a black sleeveless dress
and long brown hair twisted up in a knot,
her skin glowed to dangling silver earrings.
"Every time you look at me that way…
I always forget to breathe"
.
The Cameron is home to some of the finest artists,
musicians, and actors in town,
but during the summer months,
the regular house bands go on vacation.
Kevin joked he forgot some of our names,
spending the summer in the dark, doing drugs
"and your secrets grow like violets…"
While Bryden Baird got busy writing
"the theme song for Hockey Night In Canada
and entered it into a CBC contest"
.
The hint of a money collection came when Kevin said,
"I wish we had a drop down screen
and a power point presentation.
 
With a pie chart,
I could show you all where the jug money goes."
More fiery wit leads to
one of his best loved songs on squeeze box...
"Mr. Valentine's dead, 
and he's drinking Manhattans, singing a coal miner's tune.
In his daddy's tuxedo, and Fred Astaire shoes,
he's the best looking corpse in the room."

Leaving the stage to lead the band in search of a jug,
the black derbie hat and black vest reminds me,
like it or not,
of Mr Rain Dogs himself.
With funky black gangster hat, black pants and black vest
Tom Waits totes an accordion just like that,
walking Spanish, in a video for Downbound Train.
With old world imagery and a five dollar bill in hand,
I'm ready when the jug comes my way and
the band pauses mid-centre to circle 'round.
At my left shoulder leans an accordion dip,
and a violin bow slides directly to my right.
With a trumpet blast facing front,
I'm in heaven!
Head over heels in love, and perfectly charmed.
"Irene good night
'Goodnight Irene, goodnight…
I'll see you in my dreams…"

But no, suddenly we're in Folsom Prison.
I thought the country classics
were reserved for the set list of Kevin's other band,
The Cameron Family Singers,
But no, and I never!
"shot a man in Reno just to see him die...
Die sucker!"

During the break,
I leaned on the outside ledge of the Cameron's so-called patio
to sip soda water from two purple straws.
There I watched a group of eight walk by,
Labour Day ladies dressed to the nines.
Back inside,
blue twinkle lights run up the microphone stand
in front of a red curtain back drop.
Set two brought Quain back to the stage, with a banjo.
"No sickness
No toil, no danger…
I'm going back to see my mother
No more to roam"
.
Act II of Episode I of the 13th season has begun.











At the end of the crantini couch,
country and western scenes are painted on a lampshade,
and gigantic cockroaches crawl down the wall.
Green leaf vines run up the dark blue Cameron ceiling,
but not one available bar stool to lean a butt cheek on.
"I'm singing for my sins.
It's crowded inside this skin."

Kevin wrote a song about Kensington Market
which he played,
and then followed it with Everybody Wants to be a Cat,
from the animated Walt Disney film, The Aristocats.
"While playin' jazz you always have a welcome mat,
''cuz everybody digs a swinging cat."

And just when you're thinking,
well, what about the canine lovers in the audience,
we learn Kevin Quain was Born a Dog...
"Tonight I'm staying underground
I got markers all over town.
I've been dancing in the rain,

casting shadows, leaving stains."
Then it was time for a show tune written by
Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg...
Somewhere Over the Rainbow,
the greatest show tune of 'em all.
Judy Garland aside,
no one covers it quite like Kevin Quain.
Watching him play the saw draped across his lap
I thought to myself,
Mr Quain should have at least a dozen Grammies,
and a star on Hollywood Blvd.
This gig really is "Toronto's best kept secret",
and the front man is our local treasure.
Clearing the tables of tumblers,
the cranky bartender loaned me a pen when my ink ran dry,
and a question is asked
with chirping sounds from the drum perch, …
"If happy little bluebirds can fly beyond the rainbow…
why the hell can't I?"

The forays into popular show tunes
should not mislead the uninitiated,
because Kevin Quain and the Mad Bastards
are most definitely an original band.
Playing with the utmost respect of the singer-songwriter,
the band performs many titles from
Hangover Honeymoon, Tequila Vampire Matinee
and Winter in Babylon.
On the other hand,
if you drop by here on any given Sunday,
you just might hear You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate,
albeit done a little differently.
Or imagine if you will,
AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long
performed with acoustic guitar, accordion and fiddle.
Behind the stage after which, is where Kevin directly headed.
Where his black derbie hat and face
momentarily peaked thru the red curtain,
before he disappeared for good.
Act II, Episode I of the 13th season was brought to a close.
The art bar theatre is now closed.


Kevin Quain...
http://www.kevinquain.com/

Bryden Baird's Hockey Night in Canada theme song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSmvsmU2BDk

The Cameron House...
http://www.thecameron.com/