Ted Nugent Rocks the Park
London, Ontario
July 23, 2008
by Live Music Head
"I can't believe I'm standing in a field again,
watching a rock show in a drizzle".
But the invitation of an All-Access Pass to the concert grounds
and complimentary hotel accommodations
at the Delta London Armouries
really helped in my decision-making.
And a road trip with David and Kerry will be a helluva lot of fun.
But I had to ask…
"Is Ted Nugent the headliner? Really?"
I don't consider myself a Tedhead,
but I do recall seeing his image on album covers
strewn around our rec room growing up.
Ted Nugent is part of classic seventies rock history
and I was reminded of the rock guitar icon just last year
while watching a performance clip on the Midnight Special.
The Nuge was one hot rocker in 1978.
He's also known as the Motor City Madman,
born in Michigan of course.
"Okay, I'll go on a road trip to a rock show in London
and see Ted Nugent.
Sure, why not?"
After a delightful drive through early afternoon westbound traffic
and listening to the sounds of Amy Winehouse for the first time,
we arrived at the Delta for quick check-in,
before walking to the festival site.
Receiving our passes at the front gate,
we headed straight toward the backstage area.
Strolling past the fence plastered with
103.9 The Hawk & Rogers Cable,
separating us from the audience rocking out to Great White,
I'm thinking how backstage scenes are really not my thing.
I always feel that at any moment
someone will tap me on the shoulder and say:
"You don't belong here.
We're gonna have to ask you to leave".
And as if on cue, we were greeted at the VIP tent
by a power-trippin' lighting guy
who asked for our credentials.
Like Kerry, I really don't like explaining myself.
Aren't the tags around our necks supposed to do all the talking?
"These passes allow us to go anywhere we please,"
says David, our leader.
Bypassing lighting guy,
we follow David deeper into the backstage pit.
We soon found ourselves surrounded by white trailers
and the one closest to us had a sign tacked on the door,
indicating it was the one housing the headliner.
Next to the other white trailer, there was a sign that read:
"Okay, I'll go on a road trip to a rock show in London
and see Ted Nugent.
Sure, why not?"
After a delightful drive through early afternoon westbound traffic
and listening to the sounds of Amy Winehouse for the first time,
we arrived at the Delta for quick check-in,
before walking to the festival site.
Receiving our passes at the front gate,
we headed straight toward the backstage area.
Strolling past the fence plastered with
103.9 The Hawk & Rogers Cable,
separating us from the audience rocking out to Great White,
I'm thinking how backstage scenes are really not my thing.
I always feel that at any moment
someone will tap me on the shoulder and say:
"You don't belong here.
We're gonna have to ask you to leave".
And as if on cue, we were greeted at the VIP tent
by a power-trippin' lighting guy
who asked for our credentials.
Like Kerry, I really don't like explaining myself.
Aren't the tags around our necks supposed to do all the talking?
"These passes allow us to go anywhere we please,"
says David, our leader.
Bypassing lighting guy,
we follow David deeper into the backstage pit.
We soon found ourselves surrounded by white trailers
and the one closest to us had a sign tacked on the door,
indicating it was the one housing the headliner.
Next to the other white trailer, there was a sign that read:
Diamond Dust.
Whoever they are.
Our leader hands both Kerry and I a couple of Blue Lights
before going off for some music biz shmooze.
"Have you ever seen Ted Nugent on the Midnight Special?,
I ask Kerry.
He is so f&^%ing hot. I think he has the perfect body".
A few introductions are made and a few more Blue swigs are taken
before the white trailer door of the headliner swings open.
Out steps Ted Nugent with his long hair tied back in a ponytail,
sporting a cowboy hat, brown shirt and blue jeans.
"He still looks hot!", I mutter under my breath.
Hanging out discreetly off to the side,
we wait patiently for our turn to say hello.
Since entering my forties I've come to really appreciate
well-toned bodies of those my age and older.
And it's inspiring to be looking at the well-kept Ted Nugent at 57.
David and Kerry have the camera ready when our time opens up
and soon I find myself taking
the outstretched hand of the rock star.
And uttering the words…
"Ted, I watched the clip of you on the Midnight Special and...."
Before I had a chance to finish my sentence,
Ted interrupted to say
"I was looking pretty hot, wasn't I?"
Oh my god!
He knew exactly what I was thinking!
Pointing toward a younger man standing opposite us,
Ted says, "take a look at my son
He looks like I did back in the seventies".
I couldn't tear my eyes away from Nugent long enough
to really focus on his son,
but Kerry later commented on the uncanny resemblance.
The photo taken of us will certainly be stored
in my album of rock and roll memories.
We hung out by the trailers watching others meeting Ted,
and to keep raiding the Blue Light cooler.
A raid that inevitably caused the call of nature,
leading me in the direction of the orange port-o-potties.
Perhaps I should've asked to use Ted's can
because I can't believe I'm shifting from one foot to the other,
waiting in line for an outhouse,
Whoever they are.
Our leader hands both Kerry and I a couple of Blue Lights
before going off for some music biz shmooze.
"Have you ever seen Ted Nugent on the Midnight Special?,
I ask Kerry.
He is so f&^%ing hot. I think he has the perfect body".
A few introductions are made and a few more Blue swigs are taken
before the white trailer door of the headliner swings open.
Out steps Ted Nugent with his long hair tied back in a ponytail,
sporting a cowboy hat, brown shirt and blue jeans.
"He still looks hot!", I mutter under my breath.
Hanging out discreetly off to the side,
we wait patiently for our turn to say hello.
Since entering my forties I've come to really appreciate
well-toned bodies of those my age and older.
And it's inspiring to be looking at the well-kept Ted Nugent at 57.
David and Kerry have the camera ready when our time opens up
and soon I find myself taking
the outstretched hand of the rock star.
And uttering the words…
"Ted, I watched the clip of you on the Midnight Special and...."
Before I had a chance to finish my sentence,
Ted interrupted to say
"I was looking pretty hot, wasn't I?"
Oh my god!
He knew exactly what I was thinking!
Pointing toward a younger man standing opposite us,
Ted says, "take a look at my son
He looks like I did back in the seventies".
I couldn't tear my eyes away from Nugent long enough
to really focus on his son,
but Kerry later commented on the uncanny resemblance.
The photo taken of us will certainly be stored
in my album of rock and roll memories.
We hung out by the trailers watching others meeting Ted,
and to keep raiding the Blue Light cooler.
A raid that inevitably caused the call of nature,
leading me in the direction of the orange port-o-potties.
Perhaps I should've asked to use Ted's can
because I can't believe I'm shifting from one foot to the other,
waiting in line for an outhouse,
trying not to pee my pants while hacking up a lung
from the haul I just took from a joint.
Plugging my nose,
I enter the lovely facilities, thinking...
I've seen the inside of a festival outhouse way too many times.
I'm too old for this shit now, right?
Rumour has it Mr Nugent was recently appointed
to the Board of Directors of the National Rifle Association.
Perhaps Ted will be the new poster boy
replacing Charlton Heston?
Which reminds me of the rock star's
lifelong love of guns and hunting.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the thrill of the hunt,
but really,
how can anyone kill an animal for sport?
I turned my head away from the big screen
when hunting images were used during the show.
I actually fantasized about getting in
an arm wrestle with the headliner,
over cruelty to animals and the stupidity of guns.
I discarded the thought, however,
realizing Nugent would no doubt squish me like a vegetarian bug
with his commanding presence and quick-witted vocabulary.
When the sounds of Wango Tango were heard to open the show,
the group of security parted to let us through.
We got the best space directly in front of the stage,
at the end of the centre aisle with a perfect view,
and no one close enough to spill beer on me, yea!
I loved the deep bass tremors climbing up my legs
as the sound shook me to the core.
And the band certainly caught our attention
when we heard a few moments of Cool Jerk.
I don't think Ted Nugent will go down in history for
being a superb musician.
Nor will he likely receive awards for
outstanding achievement in song writing.
But what do I know?
Because I loved the blues groove of Stranglehold
and how it rocked us; the musical highlight of the night.
The band is a tight sounding three piece;
drums, bass and the Madman on
electric guitar and headset microphone.
I wondered if it was the same band
he had with him in the seventies.
When we took a break away from the front of stage
to throw back cheap Dominos pizza from the concession booth,
I got the chance to really notice the audience of younger rockers
Plugging my nose,
I enter the lovely facilities, thinking...
I've seen the inside of a festival outhouse way too many times.
I'm too old for this shit now, right?
Rumour has it Mr Nugent was recently appointed
to the Board of Directors of the National Rifle Association.
Perhaps Ted will be the new poster boy
replacing Charlton Heston?
Which reminds me of the rock star's
lifelong love of guns and hunting.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the thrill of the hunt,
but really,
how can anyone kill an animal for sport?
I turned my head away from the big screen
when hunting images were used during the show.
I actually fantasized about getting in
an arm wrestle with the headliner,
over cruelty to animals and the stupidity of guns.
I discarded the thought, however,
realizing Nugent would no doubt squish me like a vegetarian bug
with his commanding presence and quick-witted vocabulary.
When the sounds of Wango Tango were heard to open the show,
the group of security parted to let us through.
We got the best space directly in front of the stage,
at the end of the centre aisle with a perfect view,
and no one close enough to spill beer on me, yea!
I loved the deep bass tremors climbing up my legs
as the sound shook me to the core.
And the band certainly caught our attention
when we heard a few moments of Cool Jerk.
I don't think Ted Nugent will go down in history for
being a superb musician.
Nor will he likely receive awards for
outstanding achievement in song writing.
But what do I know?
Because I loved the blues groove of Stranglehold
and how it rocked us; the musical highlight of the night.
The band is a tight sounding three piece;
drums, bass and the Madman on
electric guitar and headset microphone.
I wondered if it was the same band
he had with him in the seventies.
When we took a break away from the front of stage
to throw back cheap Dominos pizza from the concession booth,
I got the chance to really notice the audience of younger rockers
mixed in with middle-aged pot-bellied baseball caps.
And far more women than I expected to see.
"I don't know where they come from but they sure do come"
Cat Scratch Fever!
We booted it back to the front where once again,
I couldn't help noticing
Ted Nugent's incredibly toned glutes and inner thighs.
And how they fit nicely within those tight black pants.
He brought the show to a guitar wanking finale
and left the crowd screaming for more;
a rockin crowd of an estimated 6,000 got two in the encore.
Heading back to the comforts of the Delta,
warm thoughts were seeping in of room service in the morning.
Thanks David for the invitation to rock the park in London.
We'll never be too old,
but you already know that.
And far more women than I expected to see.
"I don't know where they come from but they sure do come"
Cat Scratch Fever!
We booted it back to the front where once again,
I couldn't help noticing
Ted Nugent's incredibly toned glutes and inner thighs.
And how they fit nicely within those tight black pants.
He brought the show to a guitar wanking finale
and left the crowd screaming for more;
a rockin crowd of an estimated 6,000 got two in the encore.
Heading back to the comforts of the Delta,
warm thoughts were seeping in of room service in the morning.
Thanks David for the invitation to rock the park in London.
We'll never be too old,
but you already know that.
The clip of the 1978 Cat Scratch Fever on the Midnight Special...
Is it just me ladies?
Because Ted Nugent's butt and back bending guitar poses
are really working for me!
Because Ted Nugent's butt and back bending guitar poses
are really working for me!
