Phoenix Concert Theatre, Toronto
February 25, 2008
by Live Music Head
It was a jam packed house at
the Phoenix Concert Theatre on Monday night,
so I didn't get my usual spot on the Phoenix floor.
Standing at the back, the elevated floor helped me see,
when we got the tease....
I'm the Slime, and I loved it!
George said,
"we're gonna party like it's nineteen seventy nine!"
Coming from the same generation,
the band is very Zappa-ish,
a parade of pimps on
a stage of costumes so outrageous.
Hard to tell, but I think I counted twelve,
including diaper boy,
who was "it" for me, baby!
I stayed in Garry Shider's groovy zone for most of the night.
Bumping into many at the show;
folks I never thought I'd see,
some I wished I hadn't seen,
and some I never found, but wished I did.
Squeezing my way up front,
boy, it was a tight fit and a sweat pit.
I lasted the duration of a girl-rapped James Brown tune,
and Bounce to This, before I got the hell out.
With a rippin sax solo and a groovy bass,
"when you're hot, you're hot!"
and the floor moved.
Rumour has it some were held up at the border,
and that may explain why there weren't more saxes.
Letterman would say.. "it's always the horn section!"
I was thinking how much that female vocalist
reminded me of Eartha Kitt,
when my buddy got hassled for bringing his camera in.
Security: "Do you have a media pass for that camera?"
Me: "No. Why would I need a pass when
there's like a hundred cameras in here.
Do they all have a pass?"
Security: "You need a pass for a 'professional' camera."
Me: "What constitutes a professional camera?"
Security: "One with a big lens."
(this is the usual response I get from
pimply-faced 20-somethings trying to get through college
as a security guard
and have no idea what they're talking about)
Me: "That's very subjective."
Security2: "How did you get in here with that?"
Me: "Through the front door with my ticket like everyone else.
The doorman opened my bag and said, 'nice camera, move on.'"
Security2: "You may have to delete those pics.
I'll check with my manager."
Me: "That's a little drastic since you let me in,
along with all the other camera-toting folks who are "RECORDING" the show.
I'm just taking still images."
Security2: "It's a professional camera
and you need a media pass."
I didn't make it to the end of the show.
With such a tight crowd,
I started to feel like I was hanging out in a can of stinky sardines.
I couldn't face being bumped into one more time,
or having more alcohol spilled on me.
I counted at least five drunks passed out here and there,
and some falling down the stairs.
I heard later that the band played for three plus hours,
living up to their reputation for marathon shows.
Funk 'n' rock 'n' roll!
